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PART ONE (PICKS 1-16)
PRESENTED BY
UPDATED CONTINUOUSLY, April 28,
2007
Welcome aboard, folks. We're ready to roll
with an all-day, second-by-second look at the 2007 NFL draft.
Here's the general plan. We're primarily
going to watch the coverage on ESPN and TiVo the NFL Network coverage, primarily
because more of our readers have access to ESPN. (We look forward to the
day that just as many of our readers will have NFLN.)
But we'll be eyeballing the NFLN feed on split
screen for anything that might catch our eye.
As Chris Berman was interviewing the Commish on
ESPN, Deion Sanders took over the podium and whipped the crowd into a frenzy
that drowned out Berman and Goodell.
Sanders introduced the five players in attendance
-- and Brady Quinn got booed heavily.
Rich Eisen can't understand why Brady got booed.
(Maybe it's because the Jets fans except him to be the next Marino, Rich.)
The new MNF crew got made their debut while we
were watching the NFLN booing of Brady.
(Maybe the crowd was chanting: "Your sister
looks more like a football player than YOOOUUUUUU.")
NEWS ALERT: Sal Paolantonio of ESPN says
that the Lions have been bluffing about taking Johnson in an effort to squeeze
the Bucs into making a deal.
Mike Vick is on stage with the Commish. They
aren't playing "Who Let the Dogs Out."
Mixture of boos and cheers for Vick.
RUMOR ALERT: A source tells us that
Al Davis has told the Browns that to get from No. 3 to No. 1 it'll take a Ricky
Williams type of a trade.
NEWS ALERT: Adam Schefter of NFLN reports
that the Jets are trying to trade up into the top 15, presumably to get
cornerback Leon Hall or cornerback Darelle Revis.
For those of you who don't have NFL Network,
NFL.com is streaming the coverage. Check it out.
NEWS ALERT: NFLN reports that the Titans are
expected to acquire WR Mike Williams from the Lions. Williams was the
No. 10 overall pick in 2005.
Many readers think that Steve Young has had some
plastic surgery. He's definitely had an ear-lengthening.
NEWS ALERT: Tom Kowalski reports that the
Lions' phones are
ringing off the hook for Calvin Johnson.
Bruce Smith will be announcing the Bills' pick;
our pal Todd Wright of Sporting News Radio wants to know why the NFL isn't
letting DeAngelo Hall or Mike Vick announce the Falcons' pick. Says
Wright: "Perhaps the Falcons are worried that Vick would do something
stupid like ignore the name on the card and make the pick on his own."
We think Vick would read off his own name.
Reader: "Where's the Manny Wright trade?
The Titans might as well round up all overweight USC disappointments."
Reader: "Michael Vick has just denied being
at the draft."
Reggie Bush just stuck one up Bob McNair's butt in
a Madden commercial.
And that reminds us -- a reader told us on Friday
that Charley Casserly has Mario Williams at No. 1 in his 2007 mock draft.
Here comes the Commish. Already he is oozing
more personality than Paul the Robot ever did.
The Raiders are on the clock.
Todd Wright on the newest ESPN analyst:
Keyshawn's going to run out of material faster than Kevin James doing stand-up
at the Mirage. (Yes, I paid $81 to see him and he had nothing the last 20
minutes of his routine.)
Meanwhile, where's Joey Sunshine? Way to get
value out of that contract, Bristol.
"Suzy Kolber is working the green room." No
comment.
Reader: "I wonder how much Joe Thomas got
for wearing UnderArmour while fishing."
RUMOR ALERT: Apparently there are
false reports that LB Lance Briggs has been traded to the Redskins. Not
true.
Reader: "Either the Commish has a bit of a
lisp, or he has been spending too much time with Mike Mayock."
RUMOR ALERT: A reader says that Joey
Sunshine has been saying that the 'Skins will wear the "R" helmet twice this
year. (It's not draft-related but we've got 15 minutes to fill here
folks.)
Reader: "Word is that Jaws called Suzy
Kolber last night to make sure they weren't wearing the same suit today."
We're getting plenty of comments about Steve
Young's eyebrows.
Reader: "The Raiders have offered the No. 1
pick and 66 cans of Alpo for Mike Vick."
PICK IS IN: Raiders take JaMarcus
Russell.
Lions are on the clock.
(And at the risk of departing from our "criticize
everything" approach, we love the new Commish. He's smart, savvy, and he's
"a guy" -- a rare combination and the league is in good hands.)
Reader: "Steve Young just said, 'Live long
and prosper.'"
Oh, crap -- he's now "Mr. Spock."
Reader: "The Raiders have just drafted Akili
Culpepper." (His middle name is Leftwich.)
New Coors Light commercial cracks on Ditka for the
Ricky Williams trade.
Hey, where's Tom Jackson today?
Lions are on the clock, and Calvin Johnson is
looking pretty happy.
A reader suggests a new look for Steve Young:
Hello, Kornholio and Tirico and Gloria.
Kornholio is ripping on the Fords. In an
unrelated move, Ford Motor Company won't be advertising on ESPN anymore.
The pick is in -- Lions take Calvin Johnson.
Lions fans are happy. All six of them.
We're waiting to see a fight break out between the
ESPN and NFLN camera guys.
Commish and Calvin hug. Not that there's
anything wrong with it.
Don't rule out the Lions trading Johnson.
Hey, we didn't know Brady Quinn was dating
Courtney Love.
Reader: "I thought ESPN fired Michael
Irvin."
NEW ALERT: Sean Salisbury
has lost his radio gig in Chicago. (Apparently, he said "happy headed
nose" on the air.)
Reader: "Matt Millen has got to be thinking
about Dwayne Jarrett in round two."
Reader: "I didn't know that the players were
allowed to bring prostitutes to the draft." (OUCH.) (For the record,
we're not suggesting that the woman with Quinn is a prostitute.)
Reader: "During the UnderArmour commercial,
I think I saw contact. You'd better call somebody about that."
Browns pass on Brady.
And the slide begins.
Cleveland takes Joe Thomas. Maybe
he'll catch a walleye and a staph infection today.
A reader thinks Brady Quinn looks like the guy
from the Monkees. A bunch of readers are questioning Quinn's, um,
preferences. (For the record and to be clear -- as far as we know he is
straight. Or whatever he wants to be. It's his own choice. And
we respect all lifestyles.)
Reader: "I hope Brady isn't paying his
girlfriend by the hour. It's gonna be a long day."
A reader thinks he say Brady say "that's bullsh-t"
after the Browns passed.
Bucs on the clock, by the way.
No way Bucs take Quinn -- he does nothing to help
Gruden save his job.
Sal P. just said that Phil Simms is on the Bucs'
roster. And Tampa fans everywhere smiled for a moment.
Reader: "The Broncos are now figuring out
how they can eventually trade for Joe Thomas."
Suzy interviews Brady -- not bad poise for a guy
who is losing millions before his eyes.
Good point from Mort -- Bucs can trade down and
still get Gaines Adams; they might be looking for someone who wants Quinn.
Reader: "Mike Vick told Quinn that he's
feeding his girlfriend too much."
RUMOR ALERT: Trent Green has
basically packed up his stuff in K.C. and is heading to Miami, per an industry
source.
Reader: "Suzy and Brady look like brothers."
Reader: "Quinn looked like he just got the
news that his sister is pregnant with a conehead."
Tampa pick is in -- and they take . . . Gaines
Adams.
Apparently, an admission of pot-smoking is good
for draft stock; it didn't hurt Calvin or Adams.
A reader points out that Suzy has lifted Tafoya's
"what's going through your mind" routine.
Reader: "Hey Gaines, 1990 called. It
wants it's hairstyle back."
The "person" sitting next to Adams had one hell of
a mullet.
Reader: "Who was sitting next to Gaines
Adams, Brian Bosworth?"
Reader: "At this rate, Chong is gonna get
drafted today."
RUMOR ALERT: Patriots will not get
Randy Moss.
Mark May is saying it's too high for Levi Brown at
No. 5 -- isn't that what everyone said when the Bengals took Levi Jones at No.
11?
Cardinals on the clock at No. 5: It'll be
Levi Brown, Leon Hall, or Adrian Peterson.
Cardinals take Levi Brown.
So much for the rumors he might be sliding.
The CAA slide is on. Look for the Redskins
to try to trade down to someone who wants Peterson or Quinn.
Reader: "Adrian Peterson falls out of the
top five, and re-injures his collarbone in the process."
Reader: "Did Calvin
Johnson just say
that 'hard work;' earns respect? I thought end-zone dancing and indictments earn
respect."
'Skins are on the clock, and
are willing to trade. Look for D.C. to take LaRon Landry or Jamaal
Anderson.
Reader: "Rachel Nichols
looks like the girl from Seinfeld who was hot in one lighting, ugly in
another."
Reader: "If Adrian
Peterson slides much farther he's going to have to return those earrings."
Reader: "Rachel Nichols looks like someone
knocked out a couple of her teeth. I didn't know she was dating Pacman."
Reader: "The next Under Armour commercial
will feature a Turkish prison."
Looks like LaRon Landry is the pick at No. 6.
NEWS ALERT: ESPN.com's Len Pasquarelli
reports that the Raiders have selected quarterback JaMarcus Russell.
Reader: "Is that gel or sweat in Brady's
hair?"
Redskins take LaRon Landry.
That's two LSU players in six picks.
Several readers want to be able to text Brady
Quinn and give him a hard time.
Vikings will take Leon Hall.
Tom Condon has not had a face lift.
Reader: "Brady's girlfriend is watching her
future alimony payments drop with each selection."
Vikes will also try to trade the pick to the Fins.
It's good that the 'Skins have such solid
safeties, since they don't have defensive linemen who can make tackles.
(Thanks to the reader who pointed that out.)
Reader: "I didn't know that Howard K. Stern
represents LaRon Landry."
Vikings take Adrian Peterson. Wow.
Shocker.
He just broke his collarbone.
Reader: "Good thing his dad's not there, or
Adrian would have dove onto the stage."
An agent points out to us that the CAA conflict of
interest was front and center at No. 7, with Minnesota picking between Adrian
Peterson and Brady Quinn.
Falcons are on the clock -- can you say Amobi
Okoye?
Reader: The Vikings have sent their private
boat to Minnesota for Peterson.
Unless the Falcons trade down, the Fins will get
Brady Quinn.
Apparently, Berman said that Brady Quinn will go
in the "A"-hole.
We missed this one, but the NFL people made
Peterson taking off his big Nike swoosh pin before heading out to the stage.
Reader: "The Falcons should take Jamaal
Anderson, make him into a running back, and bring back Chris Chandler."
Falcons take Jamaal Anderson.
Uh-oh for Amobi. He played for Petrino and
Petrino didn't take him.
Wayne Huizenga is flying the card to New York in
his private jet.
(Quinn's girlfriend can be the stewardess for the
flight home.)
Reader: "Did Adrian Peterson have a WWF belt
on his wrist?"
If the Fins pass, Quinn might fall to No. 23.
Miami has got to take Quinn -- they have spent too
much time (and too many picks) looking for the next Marino.
Reader: "If Brady doesn't get drafted by the
Fins, his girlfriend Powder will blow up the green room with an
electricity-filled temper tantrum." (Obscure, but good.)
Starting a radio spot at WFNZ soon; will be
multi-tasking for a few minutes.
Said Gil Brandt on Sirius: "His first gift
as a Dolphin will be a Hummer." (Mmmmmkay.)
Suzy says that Quinn has yet to hear from the
Fins.
Holy crap -- Fins take Ted Ginn!
Okay -- we're off the radio after a visit with
Chris McClain and Brentson Buckner. Back to it full go.
Next question: When does someone from round
two try to trade back into round one for Quinn? Maybe the Browns package
their second-rounder and Braylon Edwards.
Texans on the
clock -- Okoye?
Reader: "Quinn is acting like the spoiled
rich kid he is. His demeanor is keeping him in the green room. Give
him a rattle and a pacifier."
THIS JUST IN: Ted Ginn tore an ACL
celebrating his selection at No. 9.
Texans take Amobi Okoye.
We missed it, but apparently Steve Young made an
American Idol reference. (He'd better be careful with that or
people will think he is gay.)
This just in -- Brady Quinn has announced that he
has smoked marijuana. (We're kidding.)
Many readers are fearful that Quinn will be on the
board at No. 16 when the Packers make their selection; actually, one of our
moles in Columbus heard from a Quinn family member that Green Bay is his ideal
destination, since he could be reunited with his brother and her husband.
Reader: "If Steve Young says 'aptitude' or
'moxie' one more time I am gonna throw up on my TV."
Brady's girlfriend is trying to find John Beck's
phone number.
Reader makes a good point -- the Ted Ginn/Cleo
Lemon combination might be known as "Ginn and Juice."
Maybe Brady Quinn should have taken whatever the
Raiders were willing to give him.
Suzy says that the Commish has invited Brady Quinn
to a private room so that his pouting can continue without exposure; she
announced the move with the same demeanor of a news anchor announcing that the
Pope has died.
Reader: "Brady left his sandwich on the
table. At this point, he can't afford to be wasting food."
Who will take Quinn? The Rams?
Panthers? Packers? Jags?
49ers will take Patrick Willis, we think.
Niners take Pat Willis.
The Bills are on the clock -- Leon Hall?
Darrelle Revis?
Reader:
"Did Quinn just send Powder out to get a White Sox hat?"
The guys on the
NFL Live set are all trying to make it sound like they've been saying all along
that Quinn should fall.
Bills take Marshawn Lynch.
Definitely fills
a need, but was a little too high.
Hey, if Willis
McGahee hated living in Buffalo, what will Lynch think?
Reader:
"Buffalo has more women who shave their pits than Berkeley."
With Lynch off of
the board, the whispers of Quinn to Green Bay are going to increase.
Lynch celebrates the
selection.
We've got a
strong feeling someone is going to try to trade back into round one to get
Quinn.
We also can see
the Rams taking him.
We like the
chemistry between the MNF guys. Especially when Tony isn't talking.
Teams that could
take Quinn include Rams (13), Panthers (14), Packers (16), Jags (17), Cowboys
(22), Chiefs (23), Jets (25), Ravens (29), Bears (31).
Rams take Adam Carriker.
Panthers are on
the clock at No. 14.
Reader:
"Brady Quinn just signed with the Cubs."
Reader:
"Did the Rams just draft Dwight Schrute?"
Mort just pooped
his pants in mid-sentence as the crowd erupted -- Jets making a move for Brady
Quinn? Hall or Revis?
And we all wait
for the details . . . .
Carolina trade
first-round pick and sixth-round pick for Jets first-round pick, second-round
pick, and fifth-round pick.
Jets will take
Leon Hall, we think.
The trade chart
favors the Jets on this one -- 1,115 points in value from Carolina versus 1,055
points in value from the Jets.
A reader in Miami
says that coach Cam Cameron was booed by fans in attendance at the Fins' draft
party, who then started chanting "Bra-dy . . . Bra-dy . . . Bra-dy."
Reader:
"And Cameron said to them, "Mom, Dad -- sit down and shut up.'"
Jets take Darrelle Revis,
Pittsburgh cornerback. Good decision. Jets knew that Bengals were
going to take him, if not someone higher.
At least the Fins
did their homework on the guy they took instead of Quinn.
Mort says Browns are trying to get back into round
one to get Brady Quinn.
Steelers would be wise to trade down with someone
else who wants to get Quinn.
Steelers take linebacker Lawrence Timmons,
Florida State.
Reader: "Nice green wall, Lawrence.
Does your house double for a Stars Wars set?" (Actually, it's probably the
house of Drew Rosenhaus. And, yes, it does.)
Adam Schefter of NFLN says that Brady Quinn has
lost $20 million and counting, and that someone will jump up unexpectedly to get
him.
Packers are on the clock. Could it be Brady
Quinn?
Tom Silverstein of the Milwaukee
Journal-Sentinel points out that if the Packers don't take receiver Robert
Meacham, the Moss deal is getting done.
What do the Packers do? Greg Olson?
Meacham? Quinn?
So much for Brady in his private room. Suzy
is in his face.
Quinn says his family is more affected by all of
this than he is -- yeah, because they want to get paid.
We actually think the kid is handling things well.
Said a reader of the couch on which Quinn and
Kolber were sitting: "I recognize that couch. I think it used to be
Barbaro."
We're getting plenty of e-mails suggesting that
Steve Young wants to pluck Brady's eyebrows. In a bathtub.
Reader: "Brady can make up the $20 million
but cutting back on the hair care products."
Packers select Justin Harrell, defensive
tackle from Tennessee.
That's all for part one.
We'll firing up
Part Two.
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