Here’s one from a reliable source that, frankly, is too weird to be fabricated.
Saints owner Tom Benson owns various car dealerships. We’re told that, each year, he brings a mini-fleet of new cars to the team facility in the hopes of getting some of his employees to make a purchase.
As we hear it, the players don’t really appreciate the sales pitch, due in part to the perception that they aren’t offered much of a deal.
This year, some of them made it known.
On Saturday, when players arrived at the facility to continue preparations for Monday night’s home game against the Packers, more than one of the cars was coated in a certain byproduct of the human digestive system.
So much for that new car smell.
It’s believed that two or more players were responsible for the mess, but we’ve yet to confirm the names of the suspects.
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November 22nd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
It was Jared Allen and Adrian Peterson.
Adrian did his part wihout his “helmut”.
Jared Allen rolled into the cars’ tires.
(Florio, please mail this week’s check to the same address as last week)
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Rating: 1.3 / 5 with 15 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:14 pm
The Saints signed Najeh Davenport???
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 16 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
This will not show up in the CarFax report either!
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Rating: 4.7 / 5 with 7 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:30 pm
If it’s Hollis Thomas they may have to dealing with alot of poo. Dude can eat.
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Rating: 2.4 / 5 with 5 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:31 pm
The Saints are a mess from owner to GM on down.
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 6 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Awesome
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Rating: 2.25 / 5 with 4 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Evidently they were getting a sh*tty deal.
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 4 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Crazy story.
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Whichever Saints players are related to Osi Umenyiora are likely behind this.
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Rating: 3 / 5 with 4 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:43 pm
This is the type of story that makes PFT great! Benson must be a real douchebag…
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Rating: 4.5 / 5 with 4 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Is a side effect from Starcaps include diaherra?
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Rating: 4.9 / 5 with 10 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:25 pm
My money is Shockey and Buck Ortega actually. Buck Ortega just because he has an awesome name.
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Rating: 4.5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
I’d bet it is one of the players without little talent. I haven’t been able to knock that number below 53.
They are all garbage. Maybe Reggie Bush bought one, just to make up for being paid 10 large a year. Nothing like 8 figures to make you buy a crappy car.
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Rating: 2 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:30 pm
Well, there goes one Packer fan that is having a tough time eating crow.
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:35 pm
I am flabbergasted that somebody would do that.
Benson needs a security guard to watch over his cars and keep them doody-free and I’d like to volunteer !
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 am
what a league! these are the type of miscreants this league now employs?? only in pro sports could a scumbag pull that off and not be on the unemployment line the next day. highly educated individual i am sure.
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Rating: 3 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:40 am
Well now, that’s just a shitty situation….
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 am
whats so crazy about this, me and people from work do this to the boss’ car whenever he screws up our paycheques, or pisses us off.
btw, im gonna take a guess that shockey was one of the culprits, since
he’s always ornery about something and he’s a wild child.
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:54 am
Beyond tasteless! And no, I’m not referring to the BM wash - aue de feces anyone? Benson trying to hard sell his cars to players is tacky!
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Rating: 3 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 12:57 am
Oh crap, where’s the edit function when I need it? It’s eau de feces. Sorry, my high school French was really Deutsch.
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Rating: 2.5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 4:37 am
3 hours after the ‘auto assault’ ended, Ray Edwards was seen running into the cars.
The League Office plans to suspend Jared Allen, Adrian Peterson, Ray Edwards, Matt Birk, Bobby Wade, and Chad Greenway.
When asked why Birk, Wade, and Greenway were being suspended, NFL Commissioner “Bucco Bruce” was quoted as saying “Them ViQueens are all dirty cheap shot artists, and I am giving them TEH BIGG LOSS!!”
!!!!!!!!11one!!!!11eLEVEN!!!!!!!!!!1111
(I am now Florio’s BFF)
FIRE BRAD CHILDRESS!!!!
SKOL VIKINGS and GO JAGS!!!
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Rating: 1 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:03 am
Is Charles Haley on the Saints?
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Rating: Not yet rated
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:20 am
Has something changed? Because I managed a big car dealership in the 90’s that kept an unnamed team with a Star on their helmets in “demos”. (Players and coaches.) A certain HOF QB used to bring his Z-71 pickups back with whiskey-dents in them AND we’d always find seeds & stems in his HOF WR’s Yukons. Oh, and never, ever lend a car to Ernie Zampese…you can’t get the smell of cigarettes and B.O. out to sell it later.
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
November 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 am
any security cameras out there?
while benson appears tacky, someone wants out of n’awlins.
vandalizing cars is property damage and is worse than an email f bomb.
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Rating: Not yet rated
November 23rd, 2008 at 10:12 am
Was it barf or poo? There’s a big difference, you know. From the way I read it it sounds like vomit, the other readers think it is crap, so which is it?
I can hardly side with the players of getting a discount on the cars… They’re making millions of dollars and they’re upset about not getting 5% off of a sub $100K car… while the rest of us spend half a year’s salary or more on a car.
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