There are a lot of rich people in New York (though not as many as there used to be . . . yeah, schadenfreude’s a biatch), and the New York Jets hope to tap into that dynamic by offering up to 2,000 geeks-made-good an opportunity to show off their wealth to everyone who ever kicked them in the family jewels, by purchasing on-field access to NFL games.

The Jets Coaches Club auction launches on October 19, and those who fork over the most money for the 2,000 memberships will get unprecedented perks.  “Club members will be able to stand on the field and watch the game, five yards off the Jets bench,” the team said in a release, “or step inside to a private 20,000 square foot bar and lounge designed by Nobu architect David Rockwell.”  Club members also get free food and drink, which in New York is saying a lot.

The Jets apparently have even enlisted Donald Trump for the cause, but the official PFT laptop can’t open the commercial featuring the man who epitomizes New York-style glitz and glitter (without the checkered tablecloths, gold chains, or Murano glass). 

Hey, we’re in favor of the free market and capitalism and all that crap, but we’re not necessarily comfortable with the notion of selling sideline passes to the highest bidder.  Especially after they’ve consumed seven or eight complimentary beverages and might be inclined to advise one or more Jets players how much they suck.

Now that we think of it that way, we kind of like the idea.