Former Lions running back Tatum Bell, in an effort to clear the air regarding his non-theft theft of Rudi Johnson’s luggage, continued his assault on the English language by asserting at one point to Dan Patrick, “Tatum Bell’s not no thief.”
In a ten-minute interview on The Dan Patrick Show, Bell gave his side of the story. As previously explained, he thought the bags belonged to a former teammate. Bell said that he knew cameras were present.
The bigger problem is that the bags, when they made their way back to Johnson, were missing things, like money and underwear. So how did that happen?
“It’s a lot of unanswered questions,” Bell said. “We’re trying to get some answers right now.”
Bell realizes that his career hangs in the balance. He said that he has been contacted by no teams since the incident occurred, and he believes that franchises are shying away from him because of the incident.
He also claims that the Texans contacted his agent, Kennard McGuire, but then backed off after Johnson’s allegations surfaced.
As we’ve heard it, however, the Texans were never interested in Bell, before or after we learned of one of the craziest off-field incidents this side of Najeh Davenport’s hamper habits.
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September 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am
He’s not no english major either.
Ok, who would want Johnson’s underwear? I mean, really.
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Rating: 4.65 / 5 with 11 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am
In other news, OJ is still looking for the real killer.
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Rating: 4.55 / 5 with 9 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 10:54 am
Doooooookie!
that is classic, who would ever think to drop a duce in an ex-gf closset? all i know is i am def going to pull a “dookie” next time i break up with a girl, and on my way out of her house i am def going “bell-hopping”
suck it browns!!!
goooo steelers
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Rating: 2.6 / 5 with 14 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:00 am
“continued his assault on the English language”
Hahaha, I was waiting for you to post something about the interview. Yes!
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Rating: 4.35 / 5 with 6 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:06 am
maybe espn should team him up with emmitt to call games
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 9 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:07 am
I’d use a double negative, too. Then I could say it with conviction.
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 6 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:09 am
“Tatum Bell’s not no thief.” - - Isn’t the translation of this Emmit-ism essentially saying he is a thief?
More importantly: What kind of man steals and covents used mens underwear? Seems like some kind of odd fetish of his. Not that there’s anything wrong with that . . . Wait a minute, there is.
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Rating: 3.65 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:13 am
uh, so he is a thief?
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Emmitt and Tatum do Monday Night Football,It would be an improvement over whats being inflicted on us now.It definetly would be hilarious to listen to two of the worst manglers of the English language call the game.
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Rating: 4.5 / 5 with 8 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:27 am
The Cheatriots will sign him - he will fit in well with the cheaters and thieves on their roster.
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Rating: 3.75 / 5 with 11 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:28 am
“TATUM BELL’S NOT NO THIEF” …hard to miss the significance of that double negative.
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:29 am
I’d love to see you guys start a collection of quotes from players who talk about themselves in the third-person. Some of the stuff that comes out of these guy’s mouths is hilarious. Chad has to do what’s right for Chad. Fred Smoot and T.O. have got to have some good ones too. Any suggestions?
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:31 am
I think Tatum is right. “Tatum Bell is not no thief” which translates to “Tatum Bell is a thief.” His use of double negatives isn’t stupidity, its genius! It looks like he’s defending his innocence, but he’s also proclaiming the truth at the same time!
Or wait… maybe he is just an underwear stealing moron…
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 1 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Well I guess that settles that…or said better, in no way does that not settle that…
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:39 am
This is definitely a classic; also, I absolutely love it when athletes speak in the 3rd person.
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I debacled his underwear
Emmitt
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Rating: 4.75 / 5 with 9 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I plead the fif!
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 6 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:48 am
“that is classic, who would ever think to drop a duce in an ex-gf closset? all i know is i am def going to pull a “dookie” next time i break up with a girl, and on my way out of her house i am def going “bell-hopping” suck it browns!!! goooo steelers”
Nothing less than I’d expect from a Stooler fan.
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Rating: 2.8 / 5 with 9 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I think what everyone is trying to say is that two negatives equal a positive…he’s NOT a NON-thief…Goodell might want to consider implementing use of english and grammar exams before allowing these thugs into the league…
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Rating: 4 / 5 with 4 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
If I’m Tatum Bell, I’m coughing up whatever cash Rudi claims he lost, like now. Either Bell’s the thief, at which point he gives him the money back, blames his buddy, and hopes teams fall for it. Or, Bell’s not the thief, the other guy or his old lady stole it, and Bell beats it out of them.
Either way, whatever cash Rudi had on him can’t be worth ruining your career over, guilty or not, can it?
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Rating: 2 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
“Nothing less than I’d expect from a Stooler fan. ”
I done learnt me something new. Ain’t never heared that one before.
I wish I’d have heard it when we had Najeh on the roster it would have been even funnier.
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Rating: 2.35 / 5 with 3 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
add in Shannon Sharpe to that Monday Night football line up and then NO ONE will be able to understand what’s going on.
I’m In!
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Rating: 5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Obviously, Rudi Johnson’s grammar books remain in his own possession.
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Rating: 4.85 / 5 with 7 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
Yet another reason the Lions are the laughingstock of professional sports, recent improvements notwithstanding.
Way to go, “Take ‘em Bell”.
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Rating: 4.5 / 5 with 2 rating(s)
September 5th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
By saying he has been contacted by “no teams” is he really trying to tell us that he’s been contacted by EVERY team??!!
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Rating: 3.65 / 5 with 3 rating(s)