It’s time for the PFT 2008 All-Turd Team.  As usual (i.e., as we did last year), we’ll get started with the offense.

Let us know if we’ve missed anyone.

The requirements for consideration are one or more arrests, one or more violations of the league’s substance abuse policy, one or more violations of the league’s steroid policy, one or more holdouts while under contract, one or more flagrant acts of rudeness and/or stupidity, and/or anything else that makes us think that there’s good cause for the player to be included on the squad.

Here we go.

As usual, we start with the poster children for the turd squad:  the wide receivers.  

Chris Henry, WR, unattached:  Does this one really need any explanation?  On his last chance with the Bengals (and, possibly, the league), Henry was arrested for assault and criminal damaging.  Very soon, this criminal might no longer be damaging the sport we love.

Brandon Marshall, WR, Broncos:  The heir to the Pacman/Henry “throne,” Marshall has spent more time in the back of a cruiser than an empty donut box.  Of course, that McDonald’s bag mishap thing might have gotten him on this list on its own.

Dwayne Jarrett, WR, Panthers:  The guy who was supposed to be a first-rounder fell to round two, and then played like an undrafted free agent.  He was arrested for DUI earlier this year, and recently pleaded guilty.  The next time he’s in the film room with Steve Smith, Jarrett would be wise to keep his head on a swivel.

David Kircus, WR, Dolphins:  V.P. of football operations Bill Parcells says he doesn’t want thugs and hoodlums.  Apparently, that term doesn’t include players who beat the hell out of a guy and then claimed it was self-defense. 

Chad Johnson, WR, Bengals:  Though he has never been in trouble with the law or any of the league’s major policies, Johnson created an unnecessary distraction by blustering for a trade before caving once he realized that the team had him by the fuzzy Ocho.  He’s now saying all the right things, but we don’t know what to believe from this guy.  So we suggest that no one believe any of it.

Javon Walker, WR, Raiders:  Yeah, he wasn’t arrested or anything in the past year, but that champagne spraying weekend in Vegas followed by a robbery and a phony story to TheDirty.com was enough to get him a spot.  [Editor’s note:  We somehow overlooked Walker in the initial version; thanks for the head’s up from the reader who called us.] 

Jerramy Stevens, TE, Buccaneers:  This guy was the King of the Turds even before his antics at the University of Washington were chronicled by the Seattle Times.  And yet he somehow still has a job in the league.

Jeremy Shockey, TE, Giants:  He can blame the team for not letting him on the sidelines for the Super Bowl all he wants, but we’ll never forget that image of Shockey double-fisting cocktails while his teammates pulled off one of the biggest upsets in NFL history.  The fact that the Giants came of age without him is strong evidence of how much he was holding the franchise back.

Bryant McKinnie, OL, Vikings:  He followed up the Love Boat saga by swinging a Hate Pole into a bouncer’s noggin. 

Nick Kaczur, OL, Patriots:  After getting pinched for possession of prescription painkillers, Kazcur got wired up and helped bust his supplier.

Gosder Cherilus, OL, Lions:  His idea of breaking up a fight includes trying to break the back of one of the participants.

Brandon Keith, OL, Cardinals:  Drafted by the Cardinals despite three pending misdemeanors.

Stocker McDougle, OL, unattached:  McDougle was busted last year for felony battery on a person over the age of 65.

Cedric Benson, RB, unattached:  Underperforming top-five pick was bounced by the Bears after getting busted twice on booze-related charges roughly a month.

Marshawn Lynch, RB, Bills:  His hit-and-run incident followed by several weeks of refusing to own up to it could win him an automatic berth in the All-Turd Hall of Fame.

Ahmad Bradshaw, RB, Giants:  Plenty of NFL players are arrested; few spend 30 days in jail.

Kenton Keith, RB, Colts:  Busted on four misdemeanor charges earlier this year, Keith might not be long for the Colts.

Cory Boyd, RB, Bucs:  Fighting at the rookie symposium?  Nice.

Jeff Garcia, QB, Bucs:  Signed a two-year contract at what the market bore in 2007, and now is crying about it.

Philip Rivers, QB, Chargers:  Acts like a spoiled brat more often than not.  (Hey, until quarterbacks start getting arrested, it doesn’t take much to make the list at this position.)

Matt Leinart, QB, Cardinals:  Allowed himself to be photographed in a compromising situation, then hired a lawyer to try to muscle sites like this one to take them down.  He doesn’t love football nearly as much as he loves the lifestyle.

Brett Favre, QB, “retired”:  We realize that a gang of Packers fans might tear down our headquarters, but an equally large gang of Packers fans might thank us.  The guy needs to learn how to make decisions and stick with them.

Mike Vick, QB, Falcons:  He’s still technically on the roster, so he’s still eligible a spot on the team.