Raiders receiver Javon Walker has given an exclusive interview to TheDirty.com, a web site that gathered notoriety over the past few months for, among other things, the publication of photographs of NFL players in compromising positions.

Here’s Walker’s claim:  “I was just back at my room and at about 5:30 in the morning, I got a knock at the door, I  opened it and 3 guys with guns were there, they cracked me in the head a few times knocking me unconcious [sic].  They then robbed me of everything I had– my watch– money– everything!  Somehow they got me to the car and dropped me off in the street.  That’s what happened.”

Our reaction?  Perhaps they need to check out Walker’s brain function a little more closely.  Because whatever it was that cracked his orbital bone also might have functioned as the equivalent of a lobotomy.

Think about it.  Three gun-wielding thugs walk through the lobby and, somehow knowing the number of Walker’s room, show up there, knock on the door, and pistol whip him when he opens it.  Then, after ransacking the room, they drag his unconscious body out of the hotel without being detected and leave it in the street.

Also, and as our buddy Jason Whitlock has pointed out via e-mail since we initially posted this item, there are surveillance cameras everywhere in Vegas.  So if Javon was staying at the swankiest hotel or at the Motel 6 at 707 Fremont Avenue, chances are that there’s footage somewhere of the marauding gang of thugs who accosted Walker at his room and dragged his unconscious body to their car.  The likely absence of such video evidence will blow his story out of the water.

As we suggested during our Tuesday night visit with Todd Wright on Sporting News Radio, maybe the crooks put Brandon Marshall’s McDonald’s bag over Walker’s head so that Javon wouldn’t know where they were taking him. 

If Walker’s story is true (and we’re certain that it isn’t), it’s surely not a random act.  Robbers just want the loot — they feel no need to disrespect the victim if doing so enhances the possibility of being caught. 

Given this lame-ass explanation, we’ve concluded that any and all jokes about the situation are fair game.  And so we present Taco Bill’s Pic of the Day, crafted in honor of the Walker incident.

UPDATE:  Then again, maybe it was a pack of land sharks.