Liz Mullen of Sports Business Journal reports that former Ravens coach Brian Billick will work for FOX in 2008 as a game analyst.

It could be the first step toward what many believe is an effort by Billick to become the next John Madden.

But here’s some free advice, Brian — get a lobotomy.  Seriously.  You’re too smart.  And your reputation for being smart (cultivated and perpetuated by you, intentionally or not) will turn off the average viewers who tune in for games.

Most of the members of the audience are watching a given game because:  (1) they love one or both of the teams involved; (2) they hate one or both of them; (3) one or more of the players is on their fantasy team(s); (4) the game is compelling for some reason unrelated to the viewers’ biases; (5) or they’ve not nothing better to do at the time.

Ninety percent of the audience isn’t made up of hard-core fans, and so they’re not going to appreciate exercises in esoterics.  So it’s important to keep it simple, keep it short, and use small, understandable words.

Also, never, ever talk about what “we” (or, even worse, “I”) did in Baltimore or Minnesota or anywhere else where you worked as a coach.  If you do, we/I as humans will be inclined to regard you as a douche. 

Nothing personal.  It’s not you, it’s us/me.  Seriously.  Our nature is to roll our eyes at guys who are supposed to be geniuses.  And we then constantly look for more reasons in everything the supposed genius says and does to justify our prejudice.

Besides, the whole we/I thing didn’t work for Bill Walsh in the broadcast booth, and he really was a genius.  In Billick’s case, the audience will be less impressed by any effort from Billick to dabble in what we/I did at any point in the past nine years, because what we/I ultimately did was get poop-canned.

That said, we think that Billick was good in what we saw of him during the weekend coverage of the 2008 draft on NFLN.  So maybe he’s even smart enough to figure this stuff out without anyone telling him.

UPDATE:  Billick also did a nice job on a prior television appearance, during which he almost got himself into a little “Mrs. Robinson” thing.  While wearing the hide of an entire cow.

SECOND UPDATE:  Brutal honesty from Peter King regarding Billick’s weekend performance:  ”[NFL] Network had Brian Billick talk about the ‘art of evaluating quarterbacks.’  Uh, isn’t that the reason Billick is not the coach of the Ravens anymore?  Because he didn’t do a very good job of evaluating quarterbacks?”